DATE: 22 Januarv 1998
TO: All Math Instructors
FROM: Jeffrey Bunch/Math Lab
RE: MATH TUTORING
EMPIRE INSURANCE
IT IS A KNOWN HISTORICAL FACT THAT......
JULIUS CAESAR WAS ASSASSINATED WHEN THE ROMAN SENATE FOUND THAT HE COULD NOT FACTOR A SIMPLE EXPRESSION;
BYZANTINE EMPEROR, BASIL I FAILED TO DEFEAT BULGARIA, BECAUSE HE COULD NOT TRIANGULATE THE ENEMY'S POSITION;
SPANISH KING PHILLIP II LOST THE ARMADA TO THE ENGLISH, WHO WERE ABLE TO CONVERT POLAR COORDINATES;
NAPOLEON I LOST THE BATTLE OF WATERLOO BECAUSE HE WAS UNABLE TO CALCULATE THE MAXIMUM FIREPOWER OF THE PRUSSIAN ARTILLERY;
ADOLF HITLER LOST WORLD WAR 1I BECAUSE HE CONFUSED THE ORDER OF OPERATIONS AGAINST THE RUSSIAN ARMIES.
DO YOU SEE A CONNECTION? EACH ONE OF THESE EVENTS COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED IF A MISSION COLLEGE MATH LAB WAS AVAILABLE. TO PREVENT THE CATASTROPHIC LOSS OF FUTURE EMPIRES.
A REPRESENTITIVE OF THE MATH LAB WILL VISIT YOUR CLASS DURING THE LAST WEEK OF JANUARY.
SAVE YOUR EMPIRE
WITHOUT D ELAY!