DATE: 25 August 1994
TO: All Math Instructors
FROM: Jeffrey Bunch-Math Lab
RE: Visiting Math Classes
The plight of the World does not hinge upon the Communist threat, nor the ongoing District Budget Wars, nor even the return of Punk Rock. It does, however, depend on the defeat of that dastardly organization, bent on the total confusion of Math students everywhere, named
T. H. R. U. S. H., orThe Hatred and Removal of the Understanding of Statistics
and Hyperbolas. T.H.R.U.S.H. intends to confuse as many students as possible. 'Our only solution is to engage the Man from U.N.C.L.E., or the United
Nations for the Coordination of Logarithms and Exponents. The Man from
U.N.C.L.E. will destroy complexity, doubt, and confusion.
The Man from U.N.C.L.E. will be staking out the Math classes 6-15 September and will take only a short time to brief students. If captured, and your stations were not briefed, flyers will be dropped into your coded mailbox-TOP SECRET.